Humsafar's oblivion: Muhhabat and Marriage

Khirad in her white dress sits begging at the feet of Ashar; “main aap ki Khirad hoon, main aap say bohat mohhabat karti hoon Ashar” she says, crying simultaneously. She tries to convince him of the truth of this muhhabat through the idea “main nay aap ki amanat main koi khayanat nahin ki”. Then the idea of muhhabat in its various facades becomes interesting to the drama. There’s the brand of love propagated by Sarah and Khizr (the unrequited passionate love outside of marriage) as opposed to Khirad and Ashar’s Muhabbat which is legitimate due to their marriage and is closely tied to the idea of ownership for the male and duty and submission for the female.

   Let’s start our analysis with Sarah’s love for Ashar. She says to him “Main tum say bohat Muhabbat karti hoon Ashar. Main tumhain tumhari zindagi barbad karnay nahin doon gi”. Ironically enough while due to this love Sarah wants to ensure that Ashar is saved from “barbadi”, this love in itself becomes the cause of Sarah’s own destruction. Sarah is obsessive about this love which she knows is unrequited. In this passionate state she tells her mother that “agar main Ashar say na mili tou main kisi aur say milnay kay kabil nahin rahoon gi”. This passionate love is a destructive force we’re told (Sara ultimately commits suicide) and is not viable for the balance of values in society. Khizr though he doesn't die he’s send off to America and his love is the one sided sort as well. It’s the destructive effect of this love which propels Khizr to engage in the acting out as-a lover-of –Khirad episode. Both Sarah and Khizr’s love was outside the sphere of marriage.

This brings us to the other kind of love, Khirad and Ashar’s. Theirs is a “khamosh shaadi” where in the beginning it is a “majburi ka rishta”. Later on however Ashar starts loving Khirad because she is ‘his for the keeping’, this idea of love is disturbing but then you see this notion of ownership echoed in the dialogue of Khirad when she refers to herself with the prefix of “aapki”. Interestingly this idea of ownership penetrates Ashar’s language; he refers to Khirad as “Mrs. Ashar Hussain”  or “meri biwi” in a number of places.

Then there is Khirad’s idea of love which is tied up to concepts of duty, virtue, and fidelity to the husband. She’s the stereotypical doting wife who wants to change herself according to the husband’s liking/disliking. This aspect is there to the extent that she asks Ashar’s opinion about the clothes that she should wear! At one point she says that ‘main app ki pasand kay mutabiq ban jana chahti hoon’.

This kind of love which is contained within the instituition of marriage, is largely associated with societal expectations, is the one that prevails in the end. Ashar is given a chance to repent and Khirad says “muhhabat khatm nahin hui par kahin kho zaroor gayi hai”. The idea being that the love (which springs from duty) can be brought back to life. The patriarchy and social structures then continue. Partly due to this tainted idea of right and wrong sort of Muhhabat.