Grief: Differences in its Experience

One of the points raised in class was that Sheena and Dr. Ahmer’s experience of grief is quite similar. This observation remains invalid at some level. In the first few episodes of the drama, we do indeed see Ahmer grieving his father’s death and meditating over his miserable condition as an orphan who is not left the home in which he grew up to his inheritance. But his decision to escape that misery is evident in his decision to leave the country to study abroad. He wants to immerse himself work and education to get away from grief and loneliness. On this count, Sheena is very similar to him for she too prefers her work over the loneliness experienced at home. She tells Nasir Jamal, “Baaz dafa ghar jaane se bohat ghabrahat hoti hai. Wahan ki tanhai se tou hospital ka shor he behtar hai.” Therefore, in the first half of the drama, the experience of grief is solitary for both Sheena and Ahmer.

This pattern sees a great shift in the second half when Ahmer finds out that the owner of his father’s house is none other than Zoya who he cares about deeply. After this, we frequently see him sitting at home, looking at an old photograph of him and his father or walking around the room. But all these lonely scenes are always interrupted by his friend Adil who would try and reason with him. Ahmer always shares his feelings and thoughts with Adil and the latter always suggests ways of distracting his friend like, “Bahir se doctors aye hue hein, mere saath chalo” or increasing the volume of the music so that there is some cheerfulness in the atmosphere. He knows that Ahmer cannot be continuously angry at Zoya’s identity as his father granddaughter for he tells him, “Anjaane mein tumhein uss ka khyaal hai.” In this way, conversation helps as Ahmer can vent out his frustration by talking to Adil and the latter can always try to soothe the pain through comforting words. Towards the end of the drama, when Adil feels that all his attempts at easing his friend’s grief and pain have not worked, he suggests that the two companions travel abroad to get Ahmer away from his circumstances. This friendship is absent in the misery Sheena experiences after her marriage. She has no friend with whom she can share her grief and even when Ahmer stumbles upon her in a mall, she creates a façade of her life in front of him saying, “Mein bohat khush hun, Nasir mera bohat khyaal rakhte hein, mujh se bohat muhabbat karte hein.” In fact, she doesn't choose to tell him about Nasir’s previous marriage that disturbs her, Ahmer finds out about it accidentally. This shows that she does not see him as the confidant that Ahmer finds in Adil.

In fact, in the latter half of the drama, the experience of Ahmer’s grief can be paralleled with Zoya’s experience of grief. The writers choose to present us scenes of Ahmer and Adil followed by scenes of Zoya and Anji. Where Adil tries to comfort his friend, there Anji tries to reason with Zoya reminding her that Ahmer loves her. Anji like Adil emerges as a confidant and becomes a means of letting Zoya release her emotions. She too tries to distract her friend from her misery by making funny comments about her fiancé by referring to a psychology book or insisting her to accompany her for an outing. It is in fact Anji who urges Zoya to chase Ahmer before he leaves for abroad. Thus, companionship is found in Ahmer and Zoya’s experience of grief and this is absent in the case of Sheena; she remains continuously solitary in her experience.