Women and Their Sense of Self

Like every other drama, women, or the role of women in society is very important, and contributes considerably to the narrative of the drama. Chand Grehen while focusing on feudal life and the game of tug of war between power, money and politics too revolves around the role of women.

            According to my interpretation of things, the greater the power the man has, the greater will be his influence on the woman, and the greater will be the dependency of the woman on the man. A prime example of this is Gulbahar begum, who despite being self-sufficient when it came to money, found herself completely devoid and deprived of izzat, and felt that it could be given to her through someone like Lal Hussain Shah. In fact she completely erases her own self identity when she says that she is not Gulbahar but the wife of Lal Hussain Shah. Furthermore, despite having everything that she needed for an independent life, she says; “Meri tou mitti hi manhoos hai.” Women could not degrade themselves more than that. And what is even more appalling is that Lal Hussain Shah never intercedes or corrects her or consoles her. It is as if he agrees with her, and is turn doing a great favor upon her by keeping a roof over her head which she could have done for herself with ease. However, it is this search for izzat which brings Gulbahar to this point of dependency. She just could not realize or comprehend that her izzat, her self- identity and her freedom are in fact taken away from her after marrying Lal Hussain Shah. And it is only later when she realizes this and pays the price of redeeming her freedom and sense of self at the cost of her son. If we look into it deeper, her ‘self’ was obviously a part of her son. And when she lets go of her son, she lets go of a part of her ‘self’; something irredeemable.  

            Another example would be of Singhaar. She is the mother of the son of Jahania, and hence is elevated to a higher level, yet she does not even acknowledge and claim the place that a mother deserves. Instead, the only thing she too wants is izzat. And izzat can apparently be provided by powerful or wealthy men.

            These women fail at forming their self-identity and keeping their ‘selves’ intact. They are vulnerable and allow themselves to be pulled into the delusion that izzat is something external which needs to be obtained through a particular individual.  

            Sheherbano on the other hand, is one exemplary example of the kind of woman who knows that her sense of self is what will provide her with the sense of respect that Gulbahar and Singhaar are looking for. Not only does she not feel dependent on Nasir, but she does not allow herself to be dependent or needy of Amjad either. For her, a man is not someone who is supposed to rescue her and preserve or grant her a sense of self respect or izzat. What we learn from Sheherbano is that izzat comes from within, and neither can anyone provide you with it in the first place, and nor can anyone take it away from you unless you allow them.
I could not help but relate Sheherbano to Jane Eyre, and how both do what they are told, especially when it comes to the orders of Mrs. Reed and how Sheherbano obeys Lal Hussain Shah, but there are certain limits that no one is allowed to cross, and hence no one is allowed to try to merge their sense of self with the sense of self of the two women mentioned. In other words, Sheherbano is the woman who would fall in the “Female (1920-1960)” phase as stated by Showalter in “Toward a Feminist Poetics”. Whereas Gulbahar and Singhaar somewhat fall in the “Female (1840-1880)” phase where their sense of self relies on the external models; imitating male ways of looking at the world and imitating what is laid down by the male.